Building independence in children is not something that can be done immediately. It requires great patience and goes through a process, day after day and consistent, because you need time to prepare to become independent. However, to become independent, children need “encouragement” and also the support from their parents. So, what are the ways that parents can train and create children’s independence? Here are tips.
Respect your child’s progress
Try to respect your child’s progress, no matter how slow it may be. The appreciation from parents will motivate your child. Excerpted from Indonesian Parenting, Dr. Frances Walfish, a child and parent psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent , says: “Let your child know that you appreciate their hard work, even if the results are end. The same is not too great. And continue to encourage the child to keep trying. ”
It takes determination
As a parent, it is natural to feel guilty or upset when a child is having difficulty doing chores around the house. However, in order for your child to become more independent faster, you need to control your emotions when you see your children at work. Emotional suppression does not mean not loving a child, but it means that love for a child is demonstrated by educating children to do their own work to become an independent person.
Avoid helping children
Avoid helping children immediately when they are in trouble. If your child asks for your help to get something, don’t immediately take it, try showing your child where to place the item and wait patiently for him to get what they want.
Give your child a chance to try it out until they get used to it and get it done better. The more often parents help their children, the slower their child’s independence develops.
Encourage your child to help with housework
Create conditions for children to help parents with housework. Parents can let children help you sweep the house, dry clothes, clean furniture …
Let your children feel responsible for the work they are doing. Praise and do not refuse when children want to help, even though sometimes children do not follow their parents’ wishes or cause corruption or breakdown.
Be patient and do not push your child
Children’s independence was not immediate. It is built by the same process and must be repeated over and over. That is why parents need to have patience with their children.
As quoted from Parenting Indonesia, Kinda Hadley Cornell, Psy.D., a psychologist from Loyola University, Maryland says: the courage or independence of a child to try something. There are differences between children. There are people who do new things with enthusiasm, and there are people who still need a lot of self-encouragement to feel confident enough to do it.
The rain is soaked in the ground
Give your child a look at activities they can do on their own. Introduce, give an example, and let your child do it over and over again. Create a comfortable atmosphere when your child does all of these things and does not stress them.
Parents also need to be an example for their children. For example, cleaning the bed in the morning, bringing the dirty dishes to the kitchen and washing them. If parents continue to rely on the help of graphic software, children will also have difficulty creating new ideas.
Agree with all family members
When deciding to build children’s independence, parents need to agree with each other and with other family members such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, maids … for everyone to build toxicity together. setting in children. This agreement must be followed by everyone to create consistency, avoid differences in teaching, and prevent children from being confused and confused.
Have you ever used one of the tips above?